Entry #1.2 / 8th June 2022
Security wasn’t as bad as Courtney and I had anticipated. I was terrified they would say my carry-on was too big, but no one batted an eye.
At first, it was a bit awkward as we spoke. Understandable – we had just met, didn’t really know each other to understand our personalities or quirks. But whenever it felt like an awkward spell was among us, I attempted to make a joke. Courtney either giggled or laughed at them, which I knew was mostly at sheer politeness. Some of the jokes I was coming out with wasn’t even the slightest bit funny, and I would scold myself for later. Though, I hope it helped settle down her nerves.
Once we got through security with relative ease, we found a spot under a huge roof window in the waiting area. As we waited, one by one, we were joined by others from our camp and on the same flight whom we had met through social media. It was a bit overwhelming – new faces and various personalities – but this was where my bubbly part of my personality came in, and the jokes just got more horrible.
Thank god we’re were in the polite phase of knowing each other and they laughed.
Soon and finally again, it was time to get to our flight gate, and we all started walking one way. It was only when we stopped on the travelator that I glanced around to all my new co-workers. “I hope no one is following me as I have no idea where we’re going.”
***
“I don’t know how I’m gunna survive this.” I groaned out.
After half an hour of getting to our designated gate, going through ticket/passport clearance and the boarding hall, we boarded the plane. Unfortunately, CA didn’t understand the concept of a group sticking together and scattered all our seats. Some were at the front, a few in the middle and others in the back.
I know they have a lot on and a lot of people to book plane tickets for… But maybe better planning, organisation, is in order?
Fortunately, I was at the back with two of my new co-workers – Ellie and Lewis. Ellie being in the same row, and Lewis seated in front of me, but had his body angled towards me as various passengers placed their luggage in the cabins above.
“Seven hours sitting down doing nothing? I can barely stay still for two minutes!”
“Same here.” Lewis glanced over the sea of people before returning his gaze to me. “We’ll suffer through this together.”
Once people began to settle down, Ellie and I found out – to our delight – that the seat between us was free. The passenger hadn’t showed up.
“We can put our feet up then!” I grinned to which Ellie agreed with a small smile of her own.
Before I knew it, the plane lifted off the ground and into the bright sky. I pushed my lips together to contain the laughter bubbling in my throat. I don’t wanna let on to anyone just let about how much of a weirdo I am, I mused as I casually held a fist to my mouth to ensure my adrenaline junkie traits would stay hidden.
Gradually, we got higher and higher in the air, and I watched the United Kingdom get smaller and smaller from the window. This is where I expected to feel a range of emotions – a hall of nerves, crippling anxiety, bone-shaking fear. I mean, that’s what you read in books and see in films, right? The main character going off to their grand adventure but feeling despair of leaving their loved ones behind and leaving the place they’ve known all their life. Questioning whether they can actually do this or not.
But there was only calmness. Calm with tiny, tiny sprinkles of excitement.
Shouldn’t I feel… sad?
Self-doubts clouding me like those from the view below. Isn’t this the part where I feel more panic? Or complete despair of being so far away from my loved ones?
‘Loved ones you don’t see on a regular basis.’ The responsible voice pointed out. ‘It might be different if you saw them often but…’
My head flopped backward, and I let out a heavy sigh. Guilt fluttered through me as I thought of Dad, my sister Zara, my best friends the Ashley’s (Jonesy & Mitchy) and Evan, and a few other friends… I knew on some level I would miss them; I missed them all the time. But the guilt of not feeling guilty, of not feeling sadness of leaving the country, the distance becoming so much further, hammered on me then.
Wrecked with these waging thoughts and emotions, I couldn’t watch the last remains of the United Kingdom disappear from view.
***
Sometime later, I was hit with another emotion – envy. I glanced over occasionally at other passengers on the plane, and I was astonished to see a vast majority of them asleep. Sleeping in a car is one thing, but on a plane? Totally different ball game there.
‘At least you don’t get motion sickness on a plane!’ The bright voice happily concluded – finding the positive spin on everything.
I wasn’t alone in these feelings of envy.
“I don’t know how people do that.” Lewis had commented as we both stole a glance to the sleeping passengers near us.
I shook my head. “I can’t even sleep that well in random beds, let alone anywhere else!”
Despite my grumblings about not doing anything for seven hours, I wasn’t completely bored throughout the flight. Most of it consisted of listening to music, reading (fanfics, because I’m that girl) and watching the FRIENDS Reunion and Miss Congeniality. Oh – and using every opportunity to go to the toilet just to physically move.
I think I also needed this time to fully absorb my thoughts and feelings too. Maybe find some conclusions…
Though, any conclusions I could’ve come up to were stopped by constant rabbit holes of confusion. Wow, my life is pretty much Alice in Wonderland.
‘I hope not,’ the bright voice weighed in with a twinge of seriousness. ‘Blue never really suited you.’
Not true. I couldn’t believe I was getting into an inner monologue argument. What about that light blue hoodie?
‘Hoodies don’t count.’
‘Yea, just add more rabbit holes why don’t ya?’ If the responsible voice was a physical being, she would be rolling her eyes.
Before the inner argument could escalate, I saw the passenger window’s view begin to change. Glancing to the map display on my screen, I saw where abouts we were and how there was only twenty minutes left on the flight.
With a huge, fat grin, I watched as the plane got closer and closer to the land beneath us.
America. New York.
Despite the blistering pain that was building in my ears of the impact of the plane returning to the ground below, I felt excitement bubble through me. Alongside a mountain height of disbelief to the point I had to pinch myself to physically confirm that I was seeing what I was seeing. I was actually here. Finally.
The plane skidded onto the landing platform. Everyone wide awake and ready for the next stage of the adventure.
When the seatbelt light switched off, Lewis turned to me. “Alright?”
I grinned with an eager nod. Here we go!
***