Entry #19 / 4th to 7th July 2022
The moment I took my seat on the bus back to NYC, exhaustion hit me like a hurricane. Luckily, this time, I was able to get a window seat, which made the journey much smoother and my ability to fall asleep simpler.
Sometime before we caught the bus, Ryan and Janette discussed seeing the fireworks display for Independence Day in NYC. I said at the time I might join them, but as I groggily woke up with the bus in the middle of traffic getting into NYC, I knew I was in no fit state to hang about.
So, when we finally got off the bus and out of the bus station, I went my separate ways with Ryan and Janette, who were also changing plans and wanted to go out for something to eat before returning to the university campus.
Waving myself through the busy crowds, I sped my way back to Grand Central and jumped on the needed train back to the campus. Drowning myself in music as the train slowly departed from the city.
***
During the train journey back, curiosity got the better of me, and I decided to look on social media to see what everyone got up to over the weekend. I saw various photos, mainly that of a place called the Lounge (I think?). It basically had an outside area in direct view of the Empire State Building—a great-looking view.
But as I flickered through the photos, I was struck by how much I didn’t wish I was there. It looked friendly and fun, but did I want to be there with everyone? Not really, not after the life-changing and self-improved weekend I had.
I wouldn’t trade that for any amount of fitting in.
When I got back to the university campus, I came back with a fulfilled and happy smile. I noticed right away that there weren’t many people around, and I quickly figured out they were all probably still in NYC to watch the fireworks.
But, as I was settling back into my dorm room again, a figure appeared in the open doorway.
“Hey!” Daphne’s voice examined, causing me to whip my head up to see her relieved smile. “You’re back!”
I let out a long breath as I nodded. “Yeah, just got back now.”
“Janette and Ryan, too?”
I shook my head. “No. They were planning to see the fireworks, but I think they will get something to eat before heading back here.”
“Cool. I’m just going out for a cig, and I’ll be back to catch up with ya.”
I nodded, unpacked my belongings, and put things in the washing machines.
Around ten or fifteen minutes later, Daphne returned as promised. “God, babes,” she breathed out and sat on Becky’s bed. “I wish you were here this weekend.”
Still, in the midst of sorting out my life, I frowned and turned my attention to Daphne. “What? Why?”
Daphne then proceeded to tell me the events that transpired over the weekend, and the first thought that racked through my brain was: fuck, this is school.
And then, sometime after Daphne left, another realization came to me.
Thank fuck I wasn’t there.
I learned from President Lincoln that using my voice and standing up for what’s right is important. Another thing I learned from the past week, from last weekend, is that sometimes the right thing is staying out of situations that don’t involve you or impact you.
With President Lincoln, there was a vast difference – slavery impacted everyone, especially the enslaved people and their wellbeing. It was the right thing to stand up and end it.
School-like situations that developed over time and exploded over one weekend that had nothing to do with me? I didn’t need to get involved, but I understood that if I was there… to see how upset Daphne was, I would feel the need to get involved as to what would be the right thing to do to me.
And there’s nothing wrong with that. To stand up for those you care about. But what good would that have done for me? Would that be doing right by me as well as Daphne? Wouldn’t that make the situation worse?
Sometimes, doing the right thing was a clear choice. But in everyday life, the right thing to do would largely depend on the situation and the people.
***
Janette wasn’t the only one with a bug bite problem—from Monday night onwards, sleep was a foreign concept. I don’t know what is in the Washington, DC bugs, but they bit the hell out of my legs, and they made the next few days of camp very unbearable. The lack of sleep hit hardest on Tuesday, though. I almost fell asleep near the end of the day but fought against it by moving around and constantly doing something.
From Tuesday to Thursday, I was a regular at the nurse’s office. They had a spray that helped the bug bites sting a little less, but I had to go there frequently, especially after swimming.
I only managed to get some sleep Thursday night. The bites are now wearing down, and I woke up Friday morning a new person.
I only needed to go to the nurses’ office twice.
During these days, though, I decided to plan my next weekend away from the camp and decided upon a plan.
The camp would soon pay me for my work so far, so it was best I wait for my next weekend away. Plus, I didn’t want to do something constantly every weekend—I’d be so knackered by the time camp ended that I wouldn’t have the energy for more travel.
The plan was for this weekend to be semi-relaxed. I would go to NYC on Saturday, visit the New York Public Library, see and walk across the Brooklyn Bridge, and then just have a chilled day on Sunday. I would relax before the return of the five weekdays.
Then, by the following weekend, I would’ve been paid for the first half of my work, and I could go to the following location I had picked:
Philadelphia.
I wasn’t hundred percent sure what I wanted to do in Philadelphia, but I could figure that out throughout the week. I know it holds a lot of history, but what histories about it intrigued me was something I had to look into.
Everything was going well.
Until it wasn’t.