Month: January 2024

Entry #4.1 / _{^{12th June 2022}}

The Sunday marked our first official day off. With everyone thoroughly exhausted from adapting to the new environment, managing the workload, and the previous night out, most decided against venturing into the Big Apple. I was among them – acknowledging my limits. I understood that if I attempted to squeeze in a trip to the city with my body and mind being in disarray, I would reach the end of my tether before the actual work even began.

            A few people did venture into the city, and I was partly amazed and impressed by their energy. Damn, I wish I had that kind of stamina.

            ‘Well,’ the bright voice popped in. ‘You are a few years older than them.’

            Is it possible to give a middle finger to myself? Probably not.

           However, I didn’t stay in. since the days off meant we had to provide our own food, I joined a few others on the train to White Plains, and we visited Target. We had embarked on a mini-Target shopping trip during the week, and my enthusiasm was off the charts. I believe that was the first time I revealed a bit of my weirdness to everyone.

            This time, after our little Target shop, we went exploring in other shops in the area. One of them being Burlington – which was basically TKMaxx (TJMaxx, as we are in America) but a little downgraded. In there, I managed to find a little bag that I could take with me on future days out or possible nights out.

            Once everyone was satisfied with their shopping, we all made our way back to the train station at a leisurely pace.

            Drinking a smoothie that I got from Starbucks on our way out, I perked up with a question. “Hey! Since we’ve now shopped in Target, does that make us official Americans?” Taking another slip of my drink, I carried on. “Or do we need to shop at Walmart’s next?”

***

Entry #3 / _{^{11th June 2022}}

As the workday on Saturday drew to a close, it was unanimously decided that we would be heading out for the night to the neighbouring city of White Plains. Since we were given the Sunday off to relax, it was the perfect opportunity for most people to explore the alcoholic drinks of America.

            Meh. I first thought in response to the murmurings of going on a night out, but pushed those feelings aside. The whole point of this experience was to push me out of my comfort zone, to socialise, and let my hair down.

            Before long, I found myself in my dorm room, contemplating what to wear for the night – something both nice and comfortable. Just as I got a good idea of what would work, there was a knock on the open door to the room and I glanced up to see one of my new co-workers, Daphne.

            Among all the internationals, Courtney, Lewis and Daphne were the ones I felt most comfortable with. Daphne most of all, her sassy attitude reminding me a bit of my big sister Zara.

            “Hey,” Daphne started as she wondered into the room. “You going out tonight?”

            I nodded and was momentarily surprised by the natural grin that came upon my face. “Yep! Once I decided what to wear at least. You?”

            “Yeah, but I don’t have much to wear.” She flopped down on my bed with a heavy sigh, and a wave of guilt and sympathy washed over me. Unlike the rest of us who had known for weeks about coming to camp, Daphne had only been informed just two days prior due to complications with her application. So, she didn’t have much time to prepare.

            I pursed my lips, going through items of clothing mentally. “Got any good tops?”

            “Yeah, but no bottoms.”

            “I got some,” I started to my walk-in wardrobe. “If you want them?”

            Daphne’s face lit up, though she looked uncertain. “Are you sure?”

            “I wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t sure.” I handed over my GAP dark blue denim shorts. “I would try them on first though.”

            Daphne took the shorts, shooting me a thankful grin. “Thank you so much! You’re a star! Come to my room once you’ve changed!”

            I returned the grin. ‘See!’ The bright voice countered as I prepared my outfit for the night. ‘You’re making friends!’

            Instead of uncertainty, I felt the same positive energy that the brightness in me did.

***

A few hours after helping Daphne and other women with their outfits for the night, we eventually arrived at the place everyone had been talking about – The Brazen Fox. I believe it was some kind of sports bar, and fortunately, it served food until a certain time.

            The night went on, and eventually, after everyone had eaten, we found ourselves in the back outside area of the bar. Fortunately, it was warm enough to hang out, and I found myself engaging in conversations with various people. However, I grappled with a mix of surprise and lack of surprise when mini dramas started to unfold.

           I’m really am back at school. I then rethought that mental statement, college actually.

            As the only non-drinker, I found myself gradually becoming bored and tired. This was a significant reason why I wasn’t a big fan of nightlife. I had struggled with this during my university days. Although I had enjoyed good nights our since, mostly with friends I made during my master’s degree, it wasn’t a regular occurrence. Moreover, it was around people I felt secure and safe with.

            It wasn’t that I felt unsafe around those I was with currently. However, I didn’t know them, and coupled with the fact that I was already exhausted before going out, I felt out of my depth.

            Eventually, in the middle of a conversation, a yawn came over me.

            “Wow,” Mary said from beside me. “That’s got to be your tenth yawn tonight.”

            I nodded, accepting the defeat as I drowned the last bit of my water. “I think I’m about done. You wanting to go back or stay a bit longer?”

            “I’m gonna stay a bit longer, but thanks anyway.” Mary had replied and I gave her a smile before heading off to find anyone else who wanted to call it quits.

            It didn’t take me long to find two others who wanted to go back to the university campus with me.

            “I’m not going to get blistering drunk and stay out all night.” One of them had commented with a shake of their head. “That’s not entertaining for me.”

            “Agreed.” I stated and I booked an Uber for us to get back.

Entry #2 / _{^{9th to 11th June}}

The remainder of the week revolved around unpacking, settling into our rooms, and getting to know the new people that surrounded us. That last point was high priority for the senior camp officials. After our camp breakfast, they guided us through various team games. Among them was a scavenger hunt that required us to utilize the information provided during another camp tour (an aspect I was appreciative of).

            When the tour was completed, they divided us into groups and set us off, sprinting through the camp.

            “Come on guys!” Cameron ran ahead, being in the red team with me and a few others. “We’re getting first place!”

            Plot twist – he was utterly mistaken about that. We raced through the first couple of clues and locations, only to encounter a challenge on the second-to-last one, ultimately securing us second place.

            ‘Maybe second place can be the new first place?’ The bright voice concluded as I tried to regain my breath.

***

As the week unfolded, groups began to emerge within the internationals. Looking back, it wasn’t overly surprising. Given our diverse group, it’s natural for connections to form more easily with some individuals than others. The adult in me understood it was a natural habit of humans. However, this was where a sense of discomfort started to creep in for me. It wasn’t anyone’s fault or a result of any specific person, but it began evoke memories of being back in school.

            I wasn’t alone in holding this viewpoint, though it wasn’t a perspective I relished. One aspect of school that I particularly disliked wasn’t merely the formation of groups but the clique mentality within those groups. I never blended with any of those types of groups – at least for very long. For me, these group cliques were reminiscent of wearing army green camouflage. I attempted to blend in by painting over my vibrant orange camouflage, but inevitably, the rain would come, washing away the paint.

            It wasn’t confined to school alone; I also encountered it during my undergrad too, though – in all fairness – that was more on me than the group-cliqueness.

            College was possibly the only positive experience I had from group-cliques. But, again, in all fairness, I was in a group that mostly hung out in the learning disability centre.

            In my postgrad degree, given our small size and diverse ages, we all became friends. While I keep in regular touch with my best friends through the course, I also stay up to date with everyone else on the course too. Occasionally, I bump into some of them in the city centre of York, especially those who still reside there.

            Observing the formation of groups, I pondered whether this would mirror my school experience or my college experience. I was currently a part of one group, but I questioned whether my vibrant orange camouflage would seamlessly merge with their colours.

***

In addition to getting to know our new co-workers, the camp promptly put us to work. We arrived two weeks before the camp officially opened, and aside from undergoing some training to prepare for our individual roles, we were also tasked with assisting in the preparation of the camp.

            This involved tossing hurling heavy items around the camp, cleaning specific areas, and decorating. The work was exhausting, and when combined with the socialising and getting to know one another, it wasn’t shocking to see most of us wiped out by the time we got to our located rooms.

            Gradually, we were all getting into the rhythm of things, settling into our roles as temporary Americans.

Entry 1.4 / ^{_{8th June 2022}}

By dinner time, almost everyone arrived from the airport, with a few coming in the night and the next morning.

            I met many various people. Names becoming a long list that I knew I wouldn’t memorise right away. Everyone was enjoying each other’s company – talking, laughing and getting to know each other’s personalities and waves of humour. Though, as someone who was in their own head a lot and – despite the outer appearance I gave – was naturally an introvert, it was a bit overwhelming. It was hard to keep up, but I gave it my best shot.

            As it got later though, the effects of being awake for twenty plus hours were starting to weigh on us. Many people either yawning or rubbing their faces tiredly.

            “I hope they’re taking us to the dorms soon.” I mumbled, my eyes becoming heavy.

            Within the camp itself they had rooms for international counsellors, but since they hired more internationals than they had rooms, some of us would be roomed at a nearby university’s dorms. It’s another thing to tick off my bucket list – the American university dorm experience!

            “Oh, we’re not going there until at least nine thirty.” Cameron informed me.

            I looked at my phone. “It’s almost seven now!” I groaned, head collapsing on the table.

            However, almost half an hour later, one of the camp senior workers came out with a bunch of envelopes. Located inside them were keys and key cards for our dorm accommodations.

            “Once collected,” the camp worker hollered out. “Please grab your things and head down to the parking lot!”

            I narrowed my eyes. “I thought we’re going at half nine?”

            Mary narrowed her eyes at me next. “No, half seven.”

            I recited the previous conversation in my head as I gestured to Cameron. “But he said –” I cut myself off as I caught Cameron’s tiny smirk. “It’s not even been a full day and I already hate you.”

***

“Who’s my roommate?” I asked no one in particular as everyone got their envelopes and their luggage, ready to go onto our university accommodation. Not everyone was going there, as possibly twenty people within the internationals gang are allocated to stay at the camp cabins.

            “Rose!” A loud, female voice boomed through the masses of voices around me. “You’re with me!”

            I followed the sound of the voice and quickly identified her as Becky, one of the few names I managed to remember. Mainly because she was in the social media chat I was in before coming to America.

            Let’s hope this goes well. I mentally crossed my fingers as I assisted putting my luggage in the van.

***

After a twenty-minutes minivan journey, we arrived at the university accommodation. Home sweet home. I stepped out of the minivan and stared up the dim orange/red brick building. Nerves started to slowly settle in me. While I’m used to changing house or location every so often, it doesn’t mean a little bit of anxiety isn’t there like a security blanket.

            Once I gathered all of my luggage, I followed everyone up the steps of the accommodation and followed the directions of one of the camp seniors: left for boys, right for girls.

            I followed the girls, taking in the discoloured floor titles of the corridors and cream walls. A few girls, eager to get to their rooms, rushed past me, Causing me to stumble a little. I smiled to them as they muttered their quick apologises.

            “Rose!”

            My head whipped up to see Becky standing outside a room.

            “We’re in this one!” She then disappeared into the room and I quickened my pace to follow her.

            The films had been lying to their audiences. The room held the normal furniture you’d see in those university based films – two single beds, two desks, two chairs and a mini fridge. But in the films the rooms always seemed… cosier. But the sheets of the bed gave off a “here you are” feel, the walls were plain and the while titled floors added to the coldness of the room. Also, total slipping hazard for a natural klutz.

            As I brought in my luggage, I saw Becky from the corner of my eye opening another door and saw there was a similar door just opposite. Curious, I went over and opened the door, gasping in absolute delight. “A walk-in wardrobe?” I stood inside it, “I’ve always wanted a walk-in wardrobe!”

            ‘Wow,’ the responsible voice came in, half-critical, half-fondly. ‘Your wants in life are really sad.’

            Granted, it wasn’t a massive walk-in wardrobe, and it wasn’t a glamorous one like the ones I had seen in films or Youtubers homes, but it was a walk-in wardrobe nonetheless. One I was thrilled by and improved my overall opinions of the room.

            “Rose!” Becky called my attention again. “Look!”

            I stepped back into the room and followed Becky’s point to the desk nearby. There was a little basket filled with various items and an envelope with my name written on it. I glanced over to the other desk and saw the same thing but with Becky’s name.

            “Well then,” I picked up my envelope, seeing it was a welcome card inside. “I guess we’re officially roomies.”